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*welcome To Air India!!!*

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"Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your captain

Joseph Welcoming

both seated and standing passengers on board of Air India.

We apologize for

the four-day delay in taking off, it was due to bad weather

and some

overtime I had to put in at the bakery .

This is flight 717 to Mumbai. Landing there is not

guaranteed, but we will

end up somewhere in India. And, if luck is in your favor, we

may even be

landing on your village!

Air India has an excellent safety-record. In fact, our

safety standards are

so high, that even terrorists are afraid to fly with us!

It is with pleasure; I announce that, starting this year,

over 30% of our

passengers have reached their destination.

If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request,

we can arrange

to turn them off!

To make your free fall to earth pleasant and memorable, we


complimentary DHARU and Wada paav.

For our not-so-religious passengers, we are the only airline

who can help

you find out if there really is a God !

We regret to inform you, that today's in-flight movie will

not be shown as

we forgot to record it from the television. However, for our

movie buffs, we

will be flying right next to Emirates Airline, where their

movie will be

visible from the right side of the cabin window.

There is no smoking allowed in this airplane. Any smoke you

see in the cabin

is only the early warning system on the engines telling us

to slow down!

In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly as

close as possible

for the best view. If however, we go a little too close, do

let us know. Our

enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right through the


Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for

take-off and

fasten your seat-belt. For those of you who can't find a

seat-belt, kindly

fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat. And, for those

of you who

can't find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch with a

stewardess who

will explain how to fasten yourself to your suitcase."


ps: no jokes war just posting some of the jokes i have LOL



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